What happens to a person that doesn't have a great contact with their sexuality or thinks that it is really not an important part of their life.
Life without sex is colourless. Just like You get frustrated and angry when You are hungry, You will get frustrated and angry when You don't have an amazing sex life. Drinking and eating doesn't just nourish our body, it also gives us pleasure. Pleasure is a part of our life and we need pleasure to feel happy and joyous. But our everyday life provides usually very little pleasure. Our days are filled with responsibilities, anxiety, fear and tiredeness. This is why we are looking desperatley for pleasure in every place we can find it.
Unfortunatley we try to find pleasure in consuming as much as we can. Because in order to feel happy we need a good amount of two hormones: dopamine and serotonine. These hormones are produced in our body and they bring us the feeling of joy, peace and contentment. During lovemaking body produces these hormones and we stay high on them for a long time. But daily we try to find pleasure in consuming, because dopamine is also produced in the body when we buy something new or eat or drink. This typeod pleasure seeking gives us a very short injection of pleasure and soon we are hungry for more. This is why most people over consume: food, drinks, things and people. Our apetites are never truly satisfied and they keep growing and growing, which lead us to suffering in so many levels. Often times we end up being in debt, over weight, sick, having troubles in our relationship etc. Our bodies, finances and relationships just can't stand the pressure of these unfulfilled yearnings that we have. But no one truly understands the true reason for our hunger. It is hidden in our sexuality.
Too short intercourses
Many will read this article and think that they have a completley fulfilling sex life. Being in a long-lasting relationship, having sex 2-3 times a week or more, but I still keep over eating, health is bad and keep searching for pleasure in alcohol, drugs, things and people. Having fights with their partners, kids and co-workers.
So why are we still experiencing all that if we think we have quite a good sex life. There are 2 key ingredients that we need to understand. Our understanding about sexuality and the true quality of our sex life.
An average intercourse is measured to be 4-8 minutes and in some countries 2 minutes. A good lovemaking should have at least 30 minutes of penetration and at least 20 minutes of foreplay. Short intercourses are just a way to discharge our bodies emotionally and physically from all the stress and tension that we gather. So the true pleasure that our bodies are capable of experiencing will remain out of reach for us.
Do You remeber the last time where You were in such and intense pleasure, for half an hour or an hour so that You forget Your own name? Have You ever felt that kind of pleasure and do You know what it will do to You? Maybe it is time to find out.
Imagine if all Your life You have been eating in a fast food restaurant. Every meal would be a burger, french fries and coke. Food that makes You sick and tired and doesn't really give You an amazing experience. But if one day for some reason You would eat in a gourmet restaurant, then You would realize what You have been missing the entire time. If You keep eating at the fast food places, You don't know that there could be better food, or You think that it is out of Your reach. Trust me, it is not, everyone can have it.
Unfortunatley most of the society prefers quantity over quality. True - there are more fast food places and they are much cheaper and You can eat more. But with this kind of food Your physical and mental health will suffer. You will never experience what You truly need and Your appetite will remain insatiable.
Same thing happens with our sexuality. With short intercourses many women will never experince any orgasms and men will keep looking for that long lasting true pleasure. The only thing they find is an instant gratification that last for a moment.
Estonians have an old saying: "I'd rather have a sparrow in my hand than a crow on my roof". Our society is programmed to look instant gratification but true satisfaction comes from delayed gratification.
Remember that experiment with kids, where they would put a child in a room alone and put a candy in front of them saying that if they do not eat this candy within the next 5 minutes, they will get a whole cake. Guess what...most kids eat the candy, because they'd rather have the sparrow in their hand......
What happens to our body and mind
If our body and mind can't experince pleasure through sexuality then we dry up. Our creativity dies, understaning personal freedom remains unobtainable, there is very little joy in our life and life is filled with obligations and ways of looking for pleasure in things that in the long run make us unhappy and rob us of our freedom.
Sexuality influences our physical health in many ways. Most disease that are related to our sexual organs are because of bad sex life or no sex life. Our medical science doesn't pay much attention to these topics and doctors pay more attention to eliminating the symptoms than finding the cause.
Our emotional level is in constant turmoil and tends to be more on the negative side than on the positive. We see many things in darker colours than they truly are and conflicts are easy to arise at home and outside. People are sick and tired of the constant burdens they have to carry. Our every day life is finely designed to keep us away from things that are actually important.
But how should we know and understand all this. In school our minds are programmed and we learn mostly things for 12 years that we will never need. The knowledege we truly need remains unattainable for most of us. Or we start to search for it when the suffering becomes unbearable. So most of the time we remain confused, move through life with the error and trial experiment and try to copy people who usually even less than we do.
True Power of Your Sexuality
Let me explain You what happens to a person that is in contact with their true sexual power.
They feel no shame towards their body or sexuality. They feel great emotionally an physically. Their body stays in right weight with no big effort. Their creativity is open and life bring more joy than worry. They have good relationships with people surrounding them, because they don't have expectations to others and they take life as it comes. They are happy and kind and giving. Many of them find their true calling in life and create a life that they don't have to take a vacation from. They don't need acceptance from others, because they know their own worth. They are either in a very fulfilling relationship or alone until they meet someone that brings only more joy to their life.
Sexuality is the most important food for Your mind and body, because when it has depth it is also carried from love. And I haven't yet seen anyone who doesn't need love!
My favourite quote comes from the movie "Don Juan" with Johnny Depp and Marlon Brando:
The 3 most important questions are:
- What is worth living for?
- What is worth dying for?
- And what is the spirit made of?
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