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"The Game" - The Story of the Broken Man

There is only one happiness in this life, to love and to beloved - George Sand
Have You met the man who is always playing "The Game"?
The truth is, his heart was ripped to peaces a long time ago by a very special woman. The woman who was supposed to love him unconditionally and forever. Unfortunatley for him that never happened. He spent years admiring her, loving her and hoping that maybe one day she will notice, maybe one day she will start loving him. He kept always looking for the smallest sign of love from her - a kind word, a loving look or a gentle hug. A mother is always a boy's first love. The boy is born into this world already loving her, for him that is not an option. He needs her love more than he needs air to breathe. Not only can't he get love, but he also can't show his love for her. So yearning for love transforms into a pain and shatters his heart into million pieces. He knows that the only way for him to survive, is to avoid the pain and close his heart forever.

One day the boy becomes a man - at least on the outside. On the inside he remains that little boy, who is still in search for his mother's love. He walks his walk full of pain and fear and in a deep lack of love. But it's not just pain and fear inside of him, but hate, hate for the unjustice because he has never been truly loved. For him to survive in this world, he starts to play "The Game". He becomes cold and distant, emotionally unavailable. Although You can't see it from outside, he will seem like the most loving man in the beginning.

The biggest coward of a man is to awaken the love of a woman without the intention of loving her. - Bob Marley
He has realized he has one more chance in this life for love. But because love has never been given freely, he starts taking love. So here come the womanizers, the narcissists, the sociopaths and the psychopats. They all have one thing in common: a gorgeous looking empty shell and an empty heart. He will surround himself with the most beautiful artifacts to make sure Your vision is blurred when You meet him by all the external. You will not have the slightest chance to see the inside before it is too late. He will put up his best game since day one. He is the man who brings You flowers, opens the door, brings You expensive gift and says all the right things. They are the Christian Greys of this world and they are not looking to change. And when You have fallen head over heels for him  -  the "The Game" starts. Now that he has Your love, he has full control. He will always give You just enough attention to keep You hooked. He remembers his undevotional love for her mother and remembers the control it had over him. There was nothing he wouldn't have done for her. So he becomes the collector of the hearts. But never giving his love to any woman. Always guarded, always emotionally unavailable. 
 
"Oh, I exercise control in all things Ms. Steele" - Christian Grey
Yes, the name of his game is "control". Because control is the only thing that will give him safety in this life. He lives in a constant state of fear and danger. There is not a moment in life where he can stop and pause, because there is a chance his pain might show his ugly head. So he becomes unstoppable, always on the move. Never going into depths, always staying on the surface. When deepness comes, he runs. Blame becomes his favourite companion in relationships, because it gives him a place to hide. It will always be her fault.

He will start to feed from her pain, her uncertainty, her unknowingess, her confusion. The worse she feels, the better he feels. He puts his hooks into her so deep one by one, that when she tries to remove them, she will be torn into pieces, lying on the ground, bleeding to death. When she suffers he knows he still has her love and he needs the constant validation of that. He only chooses the ones who are uncapable of loving him, just like his mother was. The women who could love him the way he yearns become too dangerous for him. 

Although his heart is guarded, he still needs to express his love to someone in this world. Someone they know it is safe to love. For him it will be safe to love a child or an animal, because they both will love him more than they love themselves. And this is exactly what he needs. 

He has become the prisoner of his pain. He will find a million ways to mask it: food, alcohol, drugs, sports and/or sex. He can't ever allow himself to feel or to show his true feelings. What he doesn't know is that when he denies his pain, he also denies the true pleasure. The amount of pain You are able to feel, shows You the amount of pleasure You can feel. We live in the world of duality, in order to know what light is, we must first know what darkness is.

He will never know what true happiness means. He will never know what inner peace means. He will never know what love really feels like. He will never get to see the beauty of life when living with an open heart. He will never know what freedom means. He is a prisoner of his own game. 

“There are only four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same: only love.” - Don Juan De Marco

In 20 years You will see them still every day with a new woman. His hair is grey, his youth is lost. He still stands in the same corners at the same bars always looking for the next victim. The truth is "The Game" has lost it's glory for him. But he has no idea how to stop. "The Game" is the only thing he knows and feels safe with. But one day "The Game" catches up with him. He will start to feel the pain he has always avoided - because his body can't take the pain anymore. He has hard time sleeping, his body might be sick, full of pain. He can't find peace anywhere. His Soul is already so full of pain, that there is just no other way. But for him the Soul doesn't excist. Just the body. And he will look for ways to mask the pain again, until one day the body can't take anymore and gives up. The heart gives up. Living a life without ever being able to truly love, is a life wasted. 

"What goes around, comes around"
For every amount of joy You give to another person, will be returned to You in abundance. For every amount of pain You give someone, will be returned to You in abundance. So what is it that You are creating for Yourself in each moment? 



With Love,

Jaya 

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